Well, here I am, my first blog entry. I just got back from Findhorn a couple of days ago. Findhorn is an excellent spiritual community in northern Scotland.  It has been there for many years, and is full of caring people trying to live a spiritual community life, growing and healing along the way.

I did the Spiritual Practice course - also wonderful.  It was a really good week of meditation, sharing, living in a community, doing some work around the place, doing creative art work and generally soaking up the positive atmosphere in the place.

Now I'm back in the real world - not quite the same I have to say, but my increased positivity and confidence is staying with me so far.  Hopefully I'll get back there again soon.

I'm really enjoying reading The Power of Now. This is a great book - very thought provoking, requiring some time to ponder and practise the contents.  It is about living in the moment, and I especially like the discussion on portals to the unmanifested (i.e., the divine source, God, etc) - there are several different portals - I like this language, it reminds me of the Harry Potter portkeys, as well as web portals of course.  Windows to another world...

There is also a discussion about space and time as nothingness - I like these kinds of thoughts, being a lifelong fan of space and time...

Does anyone do meditation around their chakras?  I find myself drawn towards this unintentionally, as the chakras seem to be centres of feelings and sensations in my body.  I find some of my chakras stronger than others at different times, and some not where the conventional models show them to be (but then people always tell me I'm quirky!). 

I find this useful, but I must admit that sometimes I get a bit sick of it.  It would be nice to close my eyes and meditate without such interference!  I suppose I could do this, but on the other hand, they do seem to help me work through various issues.

Hmmm, safe? Depends on how you define safe I guess.

My mind is a tyrant - not a really vicious tyrant like Saddam Hussein, more of a benevolent tyrant like Fidel Castro (although I know some cubans might not agree with this assessment, and don't want to stir up political controversy - just based on my notion of these respective tyrants).  In any case, the tyrant tries to protect me, but is very harsh and says 'no!' a lot.  No, you're not allowed to think about that; no, you're not allowed to feel that; no, you're not allowed to be that.  So it's not very safe in terms of letting me be myself, but most of the nos are designed to protect me from everything else going on in the world, which also means I miss out on some fun.

I'm in the process of breaking free from my benevolent tyrant, and am realising more and more just how malevolent he or she is... 

I do end up with more pain than I used to have, also more joy, but so far the pain outweighs the joy - I'm hoping the balance will improve in time.

I'm right in the middle of one!  That's what brought me here really.  It started a few years ago, when I was in the middle of a long term illness (8 years with CFS), and has continued even more rapidly now that I'm mostly well.  So far it has lead me to move to the other side of the world, question everything I'd always believed (luckily I think) and start to find out who I really am.  It's pretty good really, and although it's painful, at least I know I'm alive.

Who knows what I'll end up being at the end of it all (perhaps it will never end)...

I'm visiting Maribor, Slovenia.  Perhaps this blog post isn't very spiritual, but how do you separate the spiritual from the rest of life? 

Had a great walk along the side of the river (I did have a short moment of panic when I thought I might be attacked by a swan and his or her signets, but this turned out to be a false alarm), which is lovely, lots of old buildings, very green and leafy (I love weeping willows - why do they weep?), fountains spouting from bridge pylons, generally a very pleasant experience.

I'm enjoying being at home after my latest excursion! It has taken me a while to get used to my new place, especially in England, which still seems quite alien to me, but I'm really finding it comfortable now.  Of course the summer makes this easier, lovely sunshine, not too hot, lots of greenery and birds in the trees.  The English summer is glorious, as light as the winter is dark.

On the summer solstice last week, I sat out in the garden at 11pm, the sun still glowing in the sky (I know, nothing compared to the arctic circle, but pretty novel for an antipodean).

I like being able to travel all over the place, but I like coming home just as much.  Being at home wouldn't be as good if I didn't get to travel, and travel wouldn't be as good if I didn't get to come home!